ordinary.

I often feel like I am not enough. The simple truth is, I am not enough- God is enough. But sometimes my feelings of not being enough are more like feelings of inadequacy. How could God possibly use me?! How could he take this young, selfish, temperamental, emotional girl and use me to further his kingdom?! Okay, okay- self deprecation aside, I am just too ordinary a girl to be used for great works. Maybe small works of God- but not the bigger stuff. Not enough knowledge or ability. I am just not enough- not equipped for that.

Then, I am encouraged by Jesus' twelve disciples. The twelve men Jesus chose to reach numerous other people.

At least four of them were fishermen, most of them just common working men. Not wealthy, not necessarily of nobility, or even well-learned scholars. I wonder if their hands were dry and calloused from the harsh salt of the sea. I wonder if their hair was somewhat unkempt and their faces burned by the hot sun. I wonder if they lost their tempers, took things personally or got grumpy when tired.

Jesus saw in these men- these seemingly simple men- greatness. When I was in middle school I remember we had this banner in the hallway that read "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." I remember thinking it was way too cheesy but also so interesting- how that little word "extra" really does change the word's meaning entirely. I think these ordinary men had that little extra. I think, by all accounts of their time and people, they would be considered a highly unlikely bunch to do anything great for Jesus. But Jesus saw potential in them- potential in their willingness to follow and learn.

If I... the highly unlikely, unequipped girl am willing to follow and learn from Jesus Christ I know that I can be used. I know that I can reach and further the Kingdom of God- as long as I (like the twelve) am willing to be molded by Christ, then why couldn't I be capable of anything?...

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." John 15:16


posted by: Tara